Can’t Play With Em


Everything goes from 0 to 100 clicks real quick. Case in point:

So just yesterday news broke on everyone’s feed about dudes going all C. Columbus on some playground. Like, some dudes showing up on their cloud-based ego-mobiles demanding everyone read their declaration of this-is-our-play-ground-for-an-hour-because-we-paid-27-bucks. Really though it was a couple dudes who were showing off some crumpled piece of paper hoping that would be sufficient for shoo-ing everyone away for a private soccer-sesh. Of course (of course!) it didn’t go over well with the regulars.

First thing is first: let’s do the devil’s advocate thing (got to; wouldn’t be a big picture without it). Imagine it’s your birthday party and you want to have a function with your peoples. You want a party without strangers eating up all your food and hitting on your sisters and cousins and what not. That’s totally relatable to anyone. Like weddings. No one likes fifty people crashing their weddings and pillaging shit. Of course, we would get angry if someone just started trying to be the center of attention at our wedding. Shit won’t fly. Hell, there’s all those Dodgeball/Softball leagues that rent out park space too and no one seems to get rally-crazy with those. So maybe everyone’s just being irrational and getting riled up for no reason, since it has always been fair-game to rent out space after all.

But in this case we’re talking about a small, tucked away soccer field and a soccer game. Usually, people want others to crash the game and challenge the field. If you go to any basketball court hoping to play, you’re gonna have to challenge winners. I mean, I can’t even fathom showing up to Rucker Park with a damn piece of paper asking for an hour of private games. Think about that shit…But seriously, if you show up asking to play a game at a public park, you should expect to play the public. Everyone plays together. Like back in Kindgarten. Sharing is caring.

Of course, we have here an example of a group of people trying to do the opposite of playing nice with others. It’s like that movie Johnny Tsunami with the Urchins not wanting to share the fresh powder with the Skis (watch the movie if you have no fucking clue what I’m talking about; Shan Tsung is in that too). Anyway, it just seems messed up that one group of soccer fans wouldn’t want to just play with another group of soccer fans. Especially when one particular dude is claiming to be part of the community (of the mission or of soccer fans; whichever), but then is so willing to pay 27 bucks to segregate himself and his buddies from the community (of the Mission and of soccer fans; both).

At the very least, it’s just a few dudes being selfish and all Angelica Pickles with shit. I wouldn’t go so far as to start hella rallies and break windows at Dropbox. I just think some people have it in them to not play nice with others. Maybe this little incident is all it will take to help those dudes grow a pair of balls and be competitive with other soccer fans. Maybe they’ll be more open to playing pick up games with people outside of their circle. Just have to help bully-types turn a new leaf. It’s like when that bully Torvald from Hey Arnold was all feared and shit. He only knew how to be one way (distant and anti-social). But eventually got along with everyone because Arnold was willing to get him on his football team. Sports can bring people together, but it just takes that awkward confrontation to get the ball rolling.

But maybe those assholes never watched Hey Arnold.

And maybe I’m not being harsh enough. After all, this is an on-a-silver-platter case-study for gentrification. You know, person with money (or homie with the 27 dollar piece of toilet paper) tries to force others out (who either don’t have 27 bucks or do but don’t feel the need to have to pay 27 more bucks than they should). I’ve already said my piece on this, so I’ll appeal to my previous opinion. Stepping back from the issue, it’s not necessarily dude-in-cap’s fault, or even Dropboxe’s fault (already seeing those boycott jpegs…). The fault lies on the person or group that OK’d the transaction (the park rental). That is, it’s either Park and Rec’s fault or whatever silly app that promoted this thing that should get blame.

You know what though, fuck it. It’s Saturday. Rally at Ed Lee’s.